The Road to Death…Stalked by Freedom
I honestly never realized how many opinions I had on social issues, parenting and just motherhood in general, relationships, friendships and the future of my people and what that looks like in this nation. I amaze myself sometimeswith my own thoughts and ideas, like when did I become so socially aware? But the biggest thing that has been tripping me out lately is how life always manages to come back full circle. It, life, tears you apart with the shit it puts you through. We all know when you’re walking in the fire, it doesn’t feel like Hell, it is Hell. It’s like being in the middle of the desert with no shade, no water, no air. You feel like at any moment your body is going to turn into ashes. It hurts to breathe. And the closer you get to the other side, the more the temperature rises. The sun intensifies and starts to burn your flesh. Just as you feel your toes starting to disintegrate into the sand and you smell flames eating your hair, you feel one drop of rain and at that moment, you know you made it out, again.
Life has that power. But it also has the ability to surround you with clear water and shade and a raft with a glass of wine while you bask in victory and enjoy all of the stuff you were literally dying to achieve. Then you understand why you were forced into dehydration. Your old boy had completed its mission and in order for you to recover, you had to be cleansed of all toxicity. Heal from being in environments that weren’t conducive to the goals you laid out for yourself and your family. Heal from relationships you invested your time and energy into, only for them to fail anyway. Heal from breaking friendships you thought you’d have forever. Transitioning is like climbing to the top of the mountain, in the jungle, battling snakes and watching for sneaky insects, lurking on the branches to attack. Willingly. You do this willingly, you make the decision to climb knowing what lies ahead because that situation had you so uncomfortable, you went crazy trying to find balance. Trying to find your peace because at the end of the day, that’s all life is about, making peace with what you’ve gone through.
But, when you get to the top of that mountain, bruised and beaten, barely breathing, everything around you goes silent. You look out at what lies ahead and see nothing but an opportunity to start over again. Everything slows down and you look back at the chaos you fought to the death to get out of and with fear on your mind and determination in your heart, you jump. And as you’re soaring, you can feel the blood rushing through your veins and your heart pounding in your chest and you scream. You laugh. You cry. You enjoy the wind on your skin and the sun in your face and the butterflies flying around you. And when you finally hit the ground, it’s on both feet and you’re running again. Ready to take the next adventure by the balls. Although the size of the next mountain, deep off into the distance has you a little worried, you got this. You are a warrior.