Tideez
A basketball court sat across the street from Green Middle School. On the right side of the basketball court, separated by a fence, stood a tennis court. A quiet field lay on the left. Giggly girls often sat on the steps that led down to the court, to watch the boys play basketball. During class, Bianca eavesdropped as her peers told tales about the territories they roamed after school. They spoke of ordeals that existed on the periphery of Bianca’s consciousness. Bianca was curious about life outside the perimeters of school, church and home. So today, she told her mother that she would be staying after school for math tutoring.
During last period, Bianca’s friends planned to sit at the court after school. After the bell rang, she waited on the school steps until they returned. Minutes later, a throng of girls, clad in pussy-gripping shorts and breast-baring tank tops, strutted down the hill. Bianca was disgracefully donned in her parachute khaki pants and an oversized uniform shirt. There were twenty boys on the court today—an unusual number. Everyone sat near the bottom of the steps while Bianca sat near the top. Bianca and her peers began to sweat as the sun sat on everyone’s back.
“Is hot asshit!” Jazmine groaned.
“Man, what,” Mia said.
“I hope duh ice cream truck come,” said Kayla.
“Exactly,” Bianca mumbled.
Then Jazmine twirled around to face everyone and whispered, “Aww, dere go Deondre y’all.”
A wide grin drew upon her lips.
“You pressed like shit, girl—go talk to him,” said Ashley.
“Nah, I’m okay,” said Jazmine.
“Okay, I’mma go tell him you like him,” said Ashley.
“So,” said Jazmine.
Ashley started to get up.
“Stop playing—ok, I’mma go talk to him then, irritatin’ self,” said Jazmine.
Then Ashley, Jazmine, Kayla and Mia descended the steps. Bianca followed behind nervously.
They each spread all over the court to talk to the boys. Bianca leaned against a fence and stood rigidly, watching in silence. When she mustered enough courage to gaze around the court, her eyes fell upon Deondre. He had full lips and a huge brown afro. He was different from the other boys. There was not a day he didn’t wear his hair out in an afro. He let all the pretty girls pat and play in it. Bianca was desperate to twist or cornrow his hair, but didn’t qualify to do so.
Once Bianca spotted him, she couldn’t stop gazing. An intense tingling cascaded from her stomach down to between her legs. She crossed them and closed her eyes. She then saw Deondre and her, on the court alone. She had a bikini on and Deondre had on swim trunks. They were both barefooted. Deondre beckoned come here with his head. Bianca bounced off the gate and slithered over to him, switching every step of the way. Once they were a foot apart from each other, Deondre grabbed Bianca firmly by the waist and slid one hand down the curve of her back. He drew his face near hers. Just as their lips met, she felt a quick blow against her stomach. She jerked forward and craned her neck south. A basketball rolled near her foot—it was Deondre’s. Bianca seductively strolled over to him and handed him the ball.
He swiftly snatched it and began dribbling in the other direction toward Jazmine. Jazmine pressed her ass into the pit of his shorts while he dribbled backward. Deondre whispered something in the crook of Jazmine’s khaki colored neck that elicited a shy guffaw out of her. Bianca stood shocked while the boys dribbled around her.
“Watch out, black ass!” one of them yelled.
Bianca trudged back to the steps. Ray-Ray ran up behind her and chuckled “Aye ugly, what you doin here?”
When she reached the top, she plopped down, rested her chin in her palm and dolefully watched Jazmine and Deondre play.
That afternoon, Bianca flew to her room, tore her uniform off and ran to the bathroom.
“Hey Bian—,” Ms. Bureh said. Bianca ran inside and locked the door. She quickly undid her bra and watched her breasts intently. They did not hang like her mother’s, nor did they possess that deep, perpetual slit in the middle, like Jazmine’s. She put her bra back on and drew her shoulders inward, nearly suffocating herself. Still- no cleavage. She then gave herself a wedgy—not too deep- just slight enough to where the edges of her buttocks were visible. She walked away from the mirror with her head turned back to see her reflection. Then she gyrated. Sadly, after minutes of her buttocks’ stiff refusal to jiggle, she acquiesced. Sighing, she pulled her wedgy out and went into the kitchen.
“Hey Bianca, how was school?” Ms. Bureh sang.
“Good,” said Bianca.
“What’s wrong?” said Ms. Bureh.
“Nothing, I wanted to ask you something though…can you buy me smaller uniform pants?” said Bianca.
“Why? Your pants are nice,” said Ms. Bureh.
“No, they not, they too big,” Bianca said.
“Well, at least you have enough uniforms for each day of the week. Some kids don’t have that,” said Ms. Bureh.
“I know, but I want cuter pants,” Bianca said.
“Cuter—for who?” said Ms. Bureh.
Bianca looked down.
“You are not going to school to look cute, you are going to school to get an education,” said Ms. Bureh.
“I know, but everybody got tighter uniforms and mines all baggy. I look like a boy,” Bianca protested.
“You are never satisfied. Why can’t you ever appreciate what you have?” Ms. Bureh complained.
Bianca sucked her teeth and stomped away, slamming her door shut as hard as possible.
After sulking for a moment, Bianca started her homework. When she finished, she turned on the T.V. to see if the Bad Girls Club was on. While flipping through channels, she saw a Black lady and a White man singing before a sea of bodies. At the end of the song, the man ripped a piece of the lady’s costume off, revealing her breast. The woman immediately ran off the stage in humiliation. Bianca laughed and continued flipping when Ms. Bureh barged in:
“Take the trash out—now,” she said.
Bianca searched around for the shortest pair of shorts she could find. Once she found a pair, she threw on a complementary tank top. She then searched her dresser top for some lip gloss and poured it on her lips, patting them together to prevent dripping. When she finished, she peered through the window blinds to check if anyone was outside. The street was empty, so she ran to the kitchen, grabbed the trash bag and flew down the steps. Outside, she was met by a loud group of boys that were rolling dice. She stopped abruptly, turning to go back upstairs. Then she heard Ms. Bureh’s mouth as if she was standing right in front of her After waiting awhile, hoping for the boys to move, Bianca resolved to walk past as quickly as possible.
The boys stood in clusters on each side of the sidewalk. They grew silent as Bianca approached them. She looked at them with yearning eyes. Their lack of enthusiasm when they beheld her greatly disappointed her. She dropped her head in defeat and continued walking with her eyes glued to the concrete. Muffled laughter sidled in her ear after she walked past them. On the way back, she walked slowly, hoping that everyone would be gone. She then saw a group of people walking toward her in the parking lot.
“Ayyee Bianca!” Jazmine said.
Jazmine’s breasts jiggled as she waved.
Bianca waved back and proceeded toward her building.
“What you boutta do, Bianca?” yelled Jazmine.
“Nuffin, go in the house,” said Bianca quietly.
“Come wit us across the street, we bouddahh play Double- Dutch,” said Jazmine.
Juju and four other girls turned rope across the street in the parking lot. One girl jumped while Juju and another girl turned.
“Hey y’all!” Jazmine beamed.
“Hey,” they said.
Everyone watched the girl unsuccessfully try to keep pace with the ropes. Eventually she quit, and Jazmine said “Ooo, lemme jump right quick, y’all!”
So Juju and another girl turned and Ray- Ray asked Baby if he wanted to hit a jay with him. Ray Ray said said yes, so they went off in the cut. Mia and Briana followed.
“Come on, Bianca,” Mia said.
“I’m good, I wanna jump,” said Bianca.
“Scared ass,” said Ray-Ray as they walked off.
Jazmine hesitated before jumping in, lunging her body back and forth. Her eyes maintained a sharp focus on the overlapping ropes, waiting for the proper time to jump in. Then—she jumped—steadily at first, bouncing on one leg as her breasts bounced in unison. Jazmine smiled to herself as she jumped. While in between the ropes, a blurry circular shape formed around her. She spun around and kneeled while still jumping and did other sorts of tricks as well. It seemed to Bianca that Jazmine could do everything: be pretty, get all the boys’ attention and do tricks Bianca found difficulty in mastering.
Jazmine jumped for a while. Finally, she shot up violently in the air. Both of her breasts flew out of her tank top, each one flapping in opposite directions. The ropes dropped, and everyone collapsed with laughter. Bianca stood in shock. She had never seen another girl’s breasts before. A contagion of chuckles spread throughout the parking lot. Ray-Ray ran up to Jazmine and bellowed “Damn girl, your titties big as shit!” and flicked Jazmine’s left breast. Jazmine’s eyes watered as she angrily swatted his hand away. She then cupped her breasts, attempting to place them back into her bra. A chuckle crept up Bianca’s throat. As it reached her lips, it halted as she saw Jazmine wiping her face repeatedly. Bianca watched Jazmine’s breasts as she struggled. They resembled her mother’s breasts—a maple syrup brown with a chocolate ring encircling the nipple. Bianca then saw her sister’s small lips pulling her mother’s nipple. While everyone continued laughing, Jazmine ran away as quickly as she could with a sodden face and full hands.
Bianca continued pondering her mother’s nipples.