A Woman Named Archie
He wanted to have a legacy. When he found out his wife was pregnant, he decreed, “I don’t care if it’s a boy or a girl, my firstborn will be named Archie!” He just knew Lizzie was going to give him a son, that’s why he said what he said. The problem was, Archie was a girl.
Little Archie had her dad’s first name and her mama’s middle name, Mae. Like so many other southern (read: country) girls, she got stuck with “Mae” behind some derivative of a man’s name. In her little town, there was Willie Mae, Jamesetta Mae, Johnnie Mae, Pattie Mae (her dad’s name was Patrick), Charlesie Mae, Eugenia Mae, Billie Mae, Roberta Mae, Alberta Mae, Edwina Mae, and now Archie Mae.
Archie’s parents did the unthinkable and divorced. That was unheard of back in the 1930s. Big Archie left after two more children were born. He left Lizzie with Archie Mae, Arthur and Vera (yes, she was a “Mae” too) to find a better life in Philadelphia. Lizzie and the kids stayed in Kentucky and waited for Papa to come back for them but the only thing that came back was a request for a divorce. For years, she didn’t respond. She held on to a futile hope that Big Archie would come back for her. Unfortunately, he never did. Heartbroken, Lizzie eventually granted Big Archie’s wish.
Because she looked so much like him, Archie Mae was on the receiving end of abuse: verbal, physical, and emotional. Her mother called her names and locked her in the closet. She would beat Archie Mae for the tiniest mistakes. Her mama found a boyfriend that added molestation to the list of Archie Mae’s abuses.
By the time Archie Mae was a teenager, her father had moved to Washington, DC and asked for his children to be with him. Lizzie sent Archie and Vera to him, but she kept Arthur for herself. He didn’t want to go anyway. He wasn’t the object of Lizzie’s fury. The girls were excited that they were finally going to visit the big city. Their excitement was short lived.
While Archie Mae was in high school, her father began physically abusing her. He would hit her like she was a man and would dare her to move afterward. Shortly after she graduated, Archie Mae noticed that Vera was hanging out with all kinds of people. She tried to warn her sister that things weren’t safe, but Vera had her own mind and followed her own path.
Archie Mae knew she had to do something with her life. She didn’t have many friends. She was afraid of her father. She refused to go back to Kentucky. On a whim, she went to church. And that’s when things began to change.
She took the civil service exam, passed it, and became a federal government employee. Now, she had her own money and could buy her own clothes. She wanted to get away from Big Archie, but even in Washington during the 50s, it was frowned upon for a woman to be independent. Besides, Archie Mae was not of legal age yet, so she had at least three years before she could gain her freedom.
She met this man named Timothy. He wasn’t her type at all. She liked them tall, dark, and handsome, the usual. Tim was short, not much darker than she was, but he had boyish good looks. They became friends and when he asked her to marry him, she was a bit apprehensive but said yes anyway, just to get away from her father. Because he went to the same church as Archie Mae and Big Archie, her father knew him and consented to his request for her hand.
A year after Tim and Archie Mae married, they had their first child, a son. She lavished him with love and affection. By the time Tim, Jr. could walk, she found she was pregnant again. She had a second son and named him after her father. The very next year, she had a third son. This one she named Edward, after her father-in-law. She dearly loved her husband’s father because he always showed her kindness.
She and Tim went five years with their three boys and enjoyed life. However, a fourth son was born. She named him Albert. Albert is the man her mama married after Big Archie divorced her and the abusive boyfriend died. He, like Edward, loved her and treated her like she was a precious gift.
Archie Mae was surrounded by males. She loved it! She poured herself into her children. She taught them to read and write. She taught them how to cook and keep house. She taught them to respect women. Above all, she taught them how to love. Tim watched her with the boys and all he could do was smile. You see, he knew about her abuse and molestation. They’d had a deep conversation about it. He saw to it to reinforce what she taught the children.
Although she made a career of working for the federal government, Archie Mae found power in being a wife and mother. Eventually, the neighborhood children found out how nice Archie Mae was. They clamored for her attention. They all knew there were sweet treats at Miss Archie’s house. They knew they were welcomed at Miss Archie’s house. They knew they were safe at Miss Archie’s house. And, because the boys were there, the neighborhood kids knew they would have a lot of fun and a good meal. Every weekend, there was something going on at Miss Archie’s house.
She expanded the lessons she taught her sons to the neighborhood kids as well. She was famous for taking as many children as she could fit in her powder blue Plymouth station wagon to restaurants to teach them social graces. She would take them to carnivals and everyone received some money to play the games and ride the rides. She did this for years.
Archie Mae’s boys grew up and got married. As each one walked down the aisle, she became a bit more withdrawn. However, when the grandchildren began coming, she bounced back to life. She and Tim had ten grandchildren and they were the joy of their lives. She began teaching her grands the same lessons she taught her boys.
Sometimes, her sons would watch her teach how to bake a cake or how to properly fold laundry. It was nostalgic for her sons and it breathed new life into Archie Mae.
Archie Mae spent her life teaching young people how to be successful, productive citizens. She never graduated from college, but three of her sons did, and two of her grandchildren earned PhDs. Four more of the grands graduated with bachelor’s degrees. No one knew just how many children she’d inspired until she passed away. At her service, there was standing room only and most of the people there were “her babies.”
After the service, it was heard time and time again how this one wouldn’t have gone to college if it hadn’t been for Miss Archie. Or, another would say she wouldn’t have known what to do about being date raped if she hadn’t talked to Miss Archie. There were testimonials being shared all over. People loved her, and they knew they were loved by her.
Out of all the lessons she taught; out of all the time she spent with children, there was one thing she always said, and it still holds true…There is no defense against LOVE.
We love you, Archie Mae.